* When you go to a Japanese restaurant, you start a "USA! USA!" chant.

* When you girlfriend dumps you, you tell her she couldn't "play with the big
boys," and that she will never get past mid-card status.

* If on a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown."

* When you're getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that
with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.

* If you hit your co-worker in head with a chair while your manager is
distracting him.

* When you are involved in a bar fight with a guy twice your size and you
think your best line of attack is putting the Tongan death grip on him.

* When you put up your wife or girlfriend up in a card game for 30 days if you lose.

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"Coffee is for closers." -- Glengarry GlenRoss